In this article we will go more in depth with how polarity manifests itself between men and women.

Tantra tells us that only when we establish the essence of our gender will we find out who we really are. A short run through as you will get now, can not in any way fully explain polarity, which is such a wonderful, deep and complex subject that one could write thick books about on the subject. But we will try to keep it shorter than that :-).

Men should learn to be men and women should learn to be women
Tantra tells us that if you are born as a man it is the masculine qualities you should strive to attain and if you are born a woman, it is the feminine essence you must find. Tantra tells us like many eastern philosophies do, that the soul is bound to the Earth through many incarnations. Life after life we incarnate here until our soul has learnt what it had to learn to pass on to the next phase. There is a reason we have been born either as a man or a woman, which is that there are certain lessons of life which are associated with the experience of each gender. In your next incarnation you might be born as the opposite sex if there is a lesson that you need to assimilate through the experiential frame of that gender.
If we deep within ourselves can embrace the fact that we are eternal souls receiving lessons according to how far we have reached in the university of life, we will not be so attached to whether we were born man or woman and we can relax more embracing what comes to us.

The Androgyn
Men and women have both polarities in them and the final goal in Tantra is that the two poles are in a perfect balance thereby giving an androgynous state of being. But before we can come that far we have to learn to understand our own pole. This will in a miraculous way lead to a deeper understanding of the other pole.

About Men
Men are by their nature very attracted to the transcendant which lies on the other side of what can be experienced in the here and now. Men try to transcend the material world by getting an overview over life (which is often experienced by men as being a huge all encompasing feminine ocean). Up through the centuries it has always been men that have pondered over the mysteries in life throwing themselves into philosophical, religious or scientific study.
Men are also attracted to having goals in their lives that they can use as beacons they can aim for in the sea of life. To attain a goal it is important to uphold principles and discipline, things that men love. In fact, it is good for many men to go through a stint in the army as this gives them more discipline. Goals, principles and discipline help men to keep their consciousness afloat in the ever ephemeral feminine ocean.

Men who cannot keep an overview and keep the focus on the goal are easy targets for the feminine. They let themselves be pulled down by the challenges offered in life (which is SHAKTI) and by their own feelings and doubts (also SHAKTI, just internalized). Here we want to stress that men should not suppress their feelings, but instead they should penetrate them. They should find the essence of the feeling, to find what the transcendant aspect of the feeling is. This will offer the man a deeper understanding of why he has them. The masculine man can be in his emotions when they come to him, but he will not let them topple him so he completely loses his core. One of the best ways of penetrating a feeling is simply listening with awareness. Only through intent listening can you encompass the entire emotion and then perhaps a solution will come to you having gained an intuitve understanding of the whole problem.

About Women
Women are an expression of the energetic principle SHAKTI. Women should allow themselves to feel the essence of their energy and of life itself. They should give themselves to life and to the upholding of life. They should learn to nurture their surroundings and themselves. They must learn to open their hearts and to let themselves be "penetrated" by the eternal wisdom and love of Shiva. They must learn that they are in the posession of a huge power that they can channel into any aspect of life if they get the ability to polarise certain aspects. In Tantra it is said that the masculine without the feminine is but a lifeless corpse. Ideas and concepts without a body.
Women are always in contact with the material and are incredible multitaskers as they intuitively can feel many process at a time. Women are much more present in the here and now than men who are often distant mentalising about concepts and future visions losing their grounding.

Equality and Complimentarity
Men and women should not try to be equal to each other but to compliment each other. If the man and woman in a couple relationship were equal, the relationship would be like a dead battery. A strong couple relationship is created when a man lives up to his masculine principles and a woman follows her feminine nature. Then a strong spark will arise between the man and woman coupled with a strong erotic and love energy. If the polarity is upheld in the couple the couple can attain a huge strength together accomplishing great things in the world.

The human brain is a miracle. It is stronger than any computer that has ever been built. A thing that makes the brain so powerful is in the way it is built having a left and a right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is a serial processer. It processes one information at a time. The left hemisphere has an idea of time and of cause and effect. The right hemisphere is a parallel processer. It can process many pieces of information at a time. The right hemisphere is completely here and now experiencing everything around it. The two hemispheres are only connected through a very narrow strait through which they exchange information. Otherwise they act like two consciousness in the same body! We recommend you to watch this you tube video about a brain scientist who got a blood clot in her left brain hemisphere which enabled her to fully experience how the two hemispheres work together and speak together.



As the human brain is so strong due to its strong polarity so is a couple strong where each pole is clearly defined.

When the polarity switches
When men become weak, forget their highest masculine essence and escape from the world instead of polarising it with their consciousness, women are forced to compensate for this by becoming more masculine, showing the way ahead, making the plans etc and thereby the polarity disappears, impotence sets in, the romance disappears, marital problems arise, the man ends up preferring to spend all his time in front of his computer and the woman becomes commanding and nagging. A viscious cycle is born. Men escape and become complaining little boys and women take over becoming controlling mothers. If you have come to this place in your relationship it would be a good idea to reawaken the polarity between you!

About attracting the opposite sex
If you are a man and you don't have a partner but wish to have one, then become more masculine! Then you can be sure that you will attract the feminine into your life like the plus pole in a magnet attracts the opposite pole. If you have heavy negative emotions, don't delve in them. Come out of your belly. It is time to act. Find out what you want in life and go for it with virility, self confidence and power. Then you can be sure that the feminine will come into your life and support you in your vision.

If you are a woman who longs for a man but there is no prince charming in your life, realise that you do not create a need for him, perhaps because you yourself have become masculine taking all the decisions in your life and making all the plans. Where is there place for a man in your life? It seems that you don't need him! But he will come to you if you relax on a very deep level and open your heart to life letting the decisions be taken by something within yourself that is higher than your ego. Then eventually the man will come into your life.

Some final words
Many traps in life can be avoided by understanding the principles of polarity and how you can use them in your life and your couple relationship. This chapter could have been provoking for some of you who feel that it stereotypes the gender, but even if you feel that way it can be valuable to reflect a bit on what it means to be a man or a woman and how you relate to your own gender.

To the men we warmly recommend you to read David Deidas fabulous book entitled "The way of the superiour man". He explains all these concepts in a beautiful and very poetic language.
Women can start by reading the classic "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" which has the same angles but is written more for women.

In the next chapter we will go through the law of resonance which is a key stone in understanding Tantra. Until next time we wish you love and bliss :-)


Hans og Mariah
www.tantra.nu
www.ibismusic.net